Attempts to Stop You And How They Led To My Further Ruin
Lee Stobby,
On May 5th 2017 without my consent you exposed me to a potentially deadly disease, according to what you told me on May 7th 2017 just as we were about to hook up again. Ever since then my life has never been the same.
After I saw on facebook that you were near my house likely partying, and had seen other posts of yours confirming such behavior, I sent you a message letting you know the turmoil and health issues I was dealing with.
Your kind, saccharine follow-up texts seemed, and proved, to be out of character as normally you are abrasive and kind of self centered when dealing with me (evidenced by you and your attorney recently leveraging the anniversary of my brother’s suicide, which you were aware of, and my war hero uncle’s recent death in an attempt to get an NDA, a week after signing a deal for a client with a major director who has lost a child to suicide). I should’ve known the considerate words were hollow.
I got sick. You kept partying. You were on social media romantically out with guys while I was still puking in a trashcan. I was deathly afraid you were exposing them without disclosing too.
You kept advertising yourself as HIV Neg on your adam4adam profile. I remember mentioning the profile to you when we were together at my place during this debacle; ultimately you kept advertising as negative on this account for at least over a year after this incident despite warnings, I had to stop paying attention for my own mental health).
It seemed clear you weren’t going to therapy or slowing down. I jumped through hoops to get you to stop and still protect you before resorting to the police.
Reporting proved to be a mistake. The police were corrupt and further served to ruin my life for complaining about how they were sabotaging the investigation when there was suspicion you may still be doing this.
But that is a crazier and longer story for another day. I’m writing now to address you.
When the police were botching things (over three months after you did this, I had to go on Scruff and ask a city councilman, who had approached me at a public event to tell me he watched me on Scruff, to make a call to the cops to make them even call you…it fucks with your head to ask one predatory person for help holding another predatory person accountable), I decided to reach out to more civil attorneys. Before the cops I had tried to just get lawyers to talk to you about not advertising as neg and that didn’t work.
My mom even tried to talk to you telling you how sick I was and how I was crying and you practically hung up on her saying “nothin’ I can do”.
That summer before I went to the police (in an attempt to spare you that), I had also approached several civil attorneys to sue you; I didn’t care about the money but figured that could encourage you to stop advertising as neg. There wasn’t enough money to interest anyone.
By like October/November of 2017 the cops had proved worthless and you were posting “who do I have to blow” relating to watching Rupaul’s Drag Race and it terrified me. I found a lawyer who was interested in the case but knew my main interest was in getting you to stop, and he sent a demand letter.
Photo by : History in HD On Unsplash
Photo by : Francesco Califano On Unsplash
You had a real estate lawyer send a threatening letter in response (more recently both he and his wife have been intimidating me, with his wife the one to try and leverage the anniversary of my brother’s suicide and my war hero General uncle’s recent death for an NDA, during Suicide Prevention Month, and again, a week after you landed a deal for your client with a big director who has lost a child to suicide. As I said, you are a fucking ghoulish person). In addition to wanting you to be able to use a fake name if I sued, he stated that if i did file a suit he would immediately get it thrown out and it would cost me about $30k.
This figure seemed odd and specific, and my lawyer agreed that it was and that it was not a common figure for the circumstances. We all speculated and seemed to think that your lawyer did an asset search on me as this was the approximate cumulative balance of my bank accounts. That was scary.
Your lawyer offered me $5k to sign a non-disclosure. As a result of my experience with you I had numerous life changing events. I can not fathom how much money I have spent or pain I have gone through. I’ll never be reimbursed and I’m fine with that. I’m lucky my mother was able to catch me and loan me money to navigate my life when you knocked me down.
It’s just insulting you asked for an NDA when I’m just trying to get you to stop preying on unknowing people. Three years later I’m having déja vu.
$5K? I would estimate that the thirteen months of my 2–3 times a week (as many as 4 times a week once) sexual assault counseling that I went into in October 2017 as a result of this cost somewhere between 6k-10k, and that’s with some government assistance initially as I was seeking counseling as a result of a sex crime.
Due to all of this and a variety of factors my lawyer seemed disinterested/intimidated/concerned and we dropped the case not wanting litigation, I just wanted for you to quit advertising.
My lawyer even mentioned the REDACTED account to your lawyer, I think in November 2017. As of at least May 31st 2018 you kept that account advertising as HIV NEG. I had to stop checking it for my own mental health.
I then tried going to the press. The LA Times was interested and I started working with a writer in December 2017, I think, but there were roadblocks.
Photo by : Nik Shuliahin On Unsplash
Photo by : Scott Stephen On Unsplash
It was “Me Too” season and you weren’t famous enough. The story kept getting bumped for REDACTED FAMOUS PEDOPHILE et al. I wanted them to publish it before Sundance, because after the guy in Berlin I thought that film festivals would be an easy way for you to have an anonymous hookup. The writer agreed that Sundance can be “like an orgy”.
The writer told me the publishers were hesitant to publish your status for fear of lawsuits and wanted to take things slow (a well-founded fear given all of your specious legal threats toward me; there is no such thing as sexual predator/victim privilege).
He also told me that he couldn’t report on the dishonest cops side of things because, at least back then, he said the Times had an agreement (maybe unspoken) not to give the sheriff’s bad press in exchange for help with stories. The writer eventually stopped responding and no longer works there.
I thought about contacting Sundance, but I remember you bragging about how you were great friends with the programmer and could get any project you wanted in, and so I figured they wouldn’t take me very seriously. I hope you don’t prey on people there like you said you did in Berlin.
Then everything happened with the police and my accidents (you may not even know and clearly don’t care if you are aware) and health in January 2018 that I won’t get into here, and I left LA.