Why I Finally Came Forward
Lee Stobby,
On May 5th 2017 without my consent you exposed me to a potentially deadly disease, according to what you told me on May 7th 2017 just as we were about to hook up again. Ever since then my life has never been the same.
I had to spend a year having guys blow me off or physically not want to touch me when I was upfront and honest with them about you exposing me. For a year that was a conversation I was morally and legally obligated to have due to you exposing me (as you told me on May 7th 2017). I still have problems trusting anyone. I haven’t been sexually active in ages.
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I’ve had to realize my predator works at the top of my dream industry and I’ll likely never feel comfortable submitting a script under my own name.
I lost a job I had lined up for Summer of 2017 that i had been counting on to pay my mortgage, before it started, in large part clearly because I was no longer comfortable introducing the woman I was going to be working with to you. She is the lady from Calabassas whom we had discussed potentially funding projects from some of your clients.
I am still dealing with the medical fallout of being on these horrific medications out of fear people will do this to me again (I had to go off PREP recently as I am down to 140lbs and every doctor I have seen recently takes one look at me and asks if I’m positive because my immune system is thrashed). I’ve even had a little blood in my kidneys. Drinking tea literally set off a five day hangover and landed me in the ER. Being in bed in pain and devoid of energy most of the day isn’t unheard of for me these days).
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I lost my condo and any prospect of home ownership again when I was threatened by the cops and had to relocate for my own safety. I still had to pay my mortgage in addition to paying rent in a new city all while going through intensive physical therapy/chiropractic/sex assault counseling and my family was simply overwhelmed by all of the costs.
You ruined every aspect of my life and I just had to roll over and deal with it.
I’ve done my best to get over the situation. To learn to pay attention to red flags. To realize that you can be friends with someone for 3 1/2 years and respect the hell out of them, and you can be nothing more than just another victim to them. I had to realize that even friends can be sexual predators.
I’ve done my best to forget you. But I’m writing you today because three things have come up in the last couple of months:
- I found out that a very minor acquaintance of mine (we had two improv courses together like 5 years apart and never spoke outside of class) recently met you, and I was scared to death because he is your type (brown hair, well spoken,/charming, an aspiring writer). I had no idea what to do or if I should contact him. I don’t know the nature of your relationship, but you prey on platonic friends (me) so I can’t take a chance. But doesn’t someone I haven’t taken two improv classes with deserved to be warned too?
- I found out that you recently produced a film called Test Pattern. I can’t bring myself to watch it but I’ve heard that it focuses on the “Me Too” movement and the broken healthcare system. While I know the plot is quite different from my situation, it is quite triggering as I had numerous issues with the healthcare system during this.
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Even with expensive insurance, and because you waited so long to tell me you had exposed me, the guy at the pharmacy tried to put an extra 24–48 (can’t remember) hour hold on the PEP to make sure I didn’t have government insurance. This would’ve been over the 72 hour window for PEP to be effective. I left in tears without pills and had to go back and argue and threaten to call the news to get them.
It also took like 5 plus months to find a good in network sex assault therapist accepting patients. I was berated by my insurance company’s operator and started having bad anxiety attacks. While I had probably less than 5 in my life before this situation (like one I can remember clearly and maybe 2 or 3 total), I was having them at least twice a week when this started. Now having them daily isn’t unheard of.
I saw two other therapists briefly around the same time trying out a few to find the best fit, including one who I didn’t realize until I met him I believe is someone who had previously expressed interest in me on an app. When I finally found a good therapist he went out of network less than two months later and I paid out of pocket with family help.
- I recently discovered evidence of more significant lies you have told me that lead me to believe you are a greater risk to public safety than I had thought. Based on how the story you told me conflicts with your social media, I believe you contracted years prior to what you admitted (still, you even admitted that you contracted nearly 2 1/2 years before you told me you had exposed me).
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I will be speaking out and telling more of my story. I am only telling the truth and much of it has to do with the cops and not you anyways (which I have been distracted from talking about due to my health and your lawyer’s threats), but I will no longer be silenced, not even by your real-estate lawyer (or his wife). I currently am unemployed and live with my mother (at least when I outed you, sometimes other places; I haven’t had a truly stable living environment of my own in years; my current dream is to have a dishwasher, microwave, but mostly my own set of dishes if that gives you any idea. A bowl specifically; it’s not that I couldn’t afford a bowl, but my life doesn’t grant me the stability to care for it), and my tears, while plentiful aren’t worth much (and not as plentiful as when I first wrote this as my left tear duct got blocked from tea-tree oil and lavender oil soaps that I was using to treat an odd outbreak of molluscum above my eye, and everywhere else, which seems to be a result of the sort of drugs I went back on due to your sex crime, hammering my immune system).
I wish you no ill will but people need to be aware if you are putting others at risk and depriving them of consent by not disclosing (as you did with me). I have no reason to believe that anything would have stopped you (ie corrupt cops did not).
I tried to protect you as a friend after you preyed on me, and have dealt with the anguish you’ve caused my life in silence for three (and 1/2) years to avoid conflict, so trust me I am calling you out publicly as a last resort. And I’m not trying to out your status, just protect people. I’m just trying to warn the world about you and let it go so I can live my life free of this baggage.
Please keep in mind that this is a truncated version of events and feelings. Please trust that you have irreparably damaged me and sent me dramatically off of my intended life’s path to an extent that has taken me years to even start to recover from just so that you could manipulate your way into a few hours of pleasure. Please know that successful or not, held accountable or not, you are a sexual predator. Please look in the mirror and realize that. Please just don’t do this to anyone else.
I wish you the peace that you have deprived me of in life.
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